Moments from the Costa del Sol - Back to reality or not ?

May 04, 2021 - 12:57 PM - 142 views
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Hola Funky Media listeners, it's me Essex checking in from the Costa del Sol. Well, we've made it through another week unscathed. However, ever so slightly confused. Last week, we got the announcement that the province of Andalucia is now open, which would be great if we could actually go somewhere but apparently, we're still not allowed to cross over the perimeter of the Province so, to say I'm confused is an understatement. They say our restaurants can now open until 11pm but the curfew hasn't changed from 11pm so, unless you have some sort of teleportation device things still seem to be the same. Spain is facing as of today, the last week of its "State of Alarm" decreed by the Government, due to the Coronavirus pandemic, which is due to expire on May the 9th. On that day, the autonomous communities or each Province will lose their legal umbrella that during the last six months has allowed them to decree curfews and perimeter confinements reducing their ability to act on other measures such as the limitation of capacity and hours. This means all the decisions go back to the Spanish government, instead of the local communities. Only God knows what's coming next, because we haven't a clue but we do know that we badly need the tourism industry back on its feet. So they could in effect renew the "State of Alarm" status but I'm guessing that they'll be focusing on getting this summer back on track as one of the things we badly need is tourists and some sort of normality to survive. With the number of businesses that have been hit over the last year, I don't think the Costas can afford another year of uncertainty. So, we will see what happens on May, 9th. So, will British tourists be welcomed back to Spain from June. Well according to Fernando Valdés, the country's Secretary of State for tourism, he said this week, as long as they have a digital vaccine certificate or a negative PCR test, it could certainly be possible. Madrid wants to create its own version of the DIGITAL GREEN certificate, which is being proposed by the European Union, to show vaccination status or test results. It is not yet known whether Spain will be on the UK government's green list for quarantine-free travel from May 17th, that's when the ban on foreign travel is to be lifted for travellers in England. So I guess we shall have to wait and see, I know I'm itching to get back to see my family and friends just like a lot of us expats here. We've had another week of up and down weather, very strange for this time of year. Someone has stolen our sunshine. Although it's not exactly cold, it's just grey and overcast. Still, if the weather people have it right, things are supposed to change by the end of the week but we all know how accurate they are. Maybe the sun is also waiting for the Spanish government for the go ahead to warm us all up.

Well, last week I reported to you that Olivia's restaurant owned by Elliot Wright of former TOWIE fame had experienced a fire, which has now been confirmed to be arson. There's still an ongoing investigation but the restoration work has begun and Elliott is hoping to have it up and running by the end of June, if not before. Obviously, we all wish him luck but when I went past there last Wednesday for sneaky peep, the restaurant is completely devastated. I hope he manages to get it sorted by summer. They are working very hard on it. I believe there is some CCTV of a couple of youths running away from it on the morning of the fire but as of yet, they haven't got to the bottom of this tragic event. Elliott did look visibly shaken though I have to say. He said someone has stolen his dream and that as far as he knows he has no enemies but from my view, it looked like someone has definitely got it in for him. The restaurant is just a pile of rubble at the moment and speculation on the coast is rife, which is awful but there's nothing new there. This place is like a goldfish bowl and as they say, the "Truth Will Out"

Now, two weeks ago I decided I'm going to try and get fit, so I joined a Zumba class with some other lovely ladies. I now realised that not only do I have two left feet but my arms are gangly and they're not connected in any way to my brain or my legs. When the class is going one way, I'm going the other. I just can't seem to get coordinated. Considering I used to be a fitness instructor for a few years here on the coast, you would think my coordination would be better but this Zumba lark is well difficult. I'm out there flailing about for an hour but trying my best. It's no easy feat. The instructors great whereas I'm hurtling around like a bowling ball looking for pins to knock down but I think like anything else, with a bit of perseverance, I will get there in the end or kill myself trying. In case you're wondering, it's an open air class so we're not required to mask up, which is probably just as well considering how hard breathing through an hour of Zumba is.

I read the strangest article today. You can get a free condom, specially made for the end of lockdown. Yep, a men's digital health clinic called "FromMars" is giving away free 21st of June condoms to ensure people wrap up and stay safe. The front of the package reads "Wrap up for Summer" .... I´m loving that slogan. There is however only a limited amount available and in case you're not aware of the significance of that date and I'm sure you people in the UK are definitely aware of that date. It's when England aims to enter the final phase of its roadmap out of lockdown, at which point the government hopes to remove all legal limits on social contact. Given that most of us have spent a lot of the year in and out of lockdown, confined to our homes, cut off from the world, it's anticipated that young people will be taking full advantage of that and judging by this article, I'm left wondering if bonking will become the new Olympic sport. So while the threat posed by COVID 19 may be subsiding, there are now worries about the risks posed by unprotected sex and all this time I thought an STD was a dialling code.

And while we're on the subject of unprotected sex, I hear there is man now claiming to be the secret love child of Prince Charles and Camilla. Now, looking at the photo of him I'm wondering how this can be as he looks almost as old as the two of them and bears absolutely no resemblance to them whatsoever. The world is full of nutjobs isn't it ? Simon Charles Dorante-Day, 55 years old, who lives in Australia has spent decades trying to prove that he is the son of Charles and Camilla after his grandmother told him in 1998. I hate to tell you this but my parents told me about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy and that didn't work out quite right. Has anyone suggested a DNA test ? The poor Royal Family are having a bit of another annus horribilis aren't they ? Between Harry and his wife, (and I'm not going to even mention her name), Prince Andrews dodgy lifestyle and the sad passing of Prince Philip, this is all they need. Besides, I really don't think Prince Simon sounds so great. To me it sounds more like a can of fish or could it just be a can of worms ?

Finally, an alarming story of a man in the UK who was shocked to discover that the milk bottles that he found buried in his backyard, were actually live grenades from the Second World War !! I´ll bet that was one hell of a surprise !! James Osborne from Bramdean, Hampshire dug up two crates after a landscape gardener working on his property found them buried in his backyard. Initially they didn't realise how significant they were, They looked like milk bottles. So he started lifting them out and putting them on the side. However, he soon noticed that some of the milk bottles were smoking and we're not talking cigarettes here. He thought it best to call the police. Yep, a sound decision, I think and then they had the fire brigade. After that, there were five or six ambulances dispatched all preparing for a controlled explosion. The 48 grenades, 48 !! were detonated in a controlled explosion by the bomb disposal unit after Mr Osborne contacted them. Winchester Police, then took to Twitter to warn neighbours, not to be alarmed about the noise. Hey Winchester Police I hate to tell you this but not everybody is on Twitter. They must have World War Three had just broken out. Can you imagine being this guy's next door neighbour ? It does make you wonder how many more surprises are buried out there, his neighbours must have been petrified. Me, I'm such a worrier. I jump when a car backfires. I'd be wondering if there were any others buried in the neighbor's gardens. 48 grenades !! Mind you, probably nothing in noise compared to a Spanish Garden Party. The Spanish are one of the loudest nationalities of people I've ever heard. They can be standing right next to each other yet, they'll still yell at each other.

Well folks, as far as the news that's about it for this week. Let's hope next week the sun is shining and I will have some more news for you on the laws and maybe the kickoff of tourist season here, who knows ? Until next week, have a good one, stay safe, and as always from me, Michelle, Hasta Luego from the Costa del Sol.

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